A queer metamorphosis

A Queer Metamorphosis

We
are all fluid
in evolution
(re)volution
within
time
as
We
exist here
on this planet
within
humanity.

to many
the box feels safe
confirming confirmation,
in formation
within
the box
this fluid form
This Fluid Human
running circles
Spiralling from
within
Out.

breaking out of that box
hurts
because the homophobic voice inside 
my head
is
rampant, real
louder than anything you can shout
outside
your slighted judgment,
”excuse me sir”, “oh my gosh, sorry, I mean madam”
it doesn't matter to me
why does it matter to you?
fat dyke
crazy bitch
aren't those shorts too short for this weather?

through the conditioning
deprogramming
from the days of Velma not allowed to be
lesbian
lesbian a dirty word
a bad word
an ostracised word
guaranteed casting out
witch, heretic, a bad one, a bad
word

it's still (very) (un)comfortable to look beyond the mirror
at my reflection
see this new evolution, this (re)evolution
standing here
looking back at me
queering the narrative
queering, 
peering, through that
deep conditioning.

yet this queer metamorphosis is real

Years have been spent 
wrestling
within 
a messy chrysalis chaos.
to breakdown
to radical transformation
to (re)organised
New Outlines 
queered
Rise to the surface
new hair 
appears 
where skin used to be bare 
hair disappears where it used to be femme
A gentle (re)emergence
The butterfly of fluidity begins to flap its wings?

it won't be long now
maybe the next generation or two
for you and yours to realise
We all are all beyond the binary
border.
and it’s better here, 
more comfortable
a better place for Humanity 
Survival
on this burning planet
Queering The Narrative
is real evolution (re)volution. 

so as i'm 
temporally entangled*, clinging to my colonial past, 
transmuting
through this fucked up present
to build a clear and resonant future
brighter than anything possibly imagined
before

i stand here
46 years 
of layers peeling away.

this sense of self 
dissolving into dust
from that dust A Phoenix Rises.

within
out

That Butterfly of Fluidity 
is flying high
and
so am i
so am i
So Am I…

This queer metamorphosis stage one is done.

<3

*Saidiya Hartman citation